It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
