Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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