omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i think i just lost a toe
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
