i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
