u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
