dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
