Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I want is dick and wine.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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