So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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