we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize