Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
