i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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