I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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