I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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