I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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