I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
