ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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