Where is the hickey?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
