You just made me feel so damn special
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
