you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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