so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
