Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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