I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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