Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize