i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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