He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
