just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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