With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
