I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
