Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize