Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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