3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
