Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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