Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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