Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize