Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
God, I missed his penis.
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