wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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