Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Semen is not good for contacts.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
