Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
