I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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