Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
is it fun? or sober?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
