Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Welp...herpes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
