I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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