Christians are straight up FREAKS
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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