Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize