I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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