what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
