You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have aggressive nipples.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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