I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
