Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.

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