My brain says no but my pants say off.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
