Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
