Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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