I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
