Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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