I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
