he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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