This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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