So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
