He kissed a someone with a penis
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
