The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
