The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
