what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
