you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
