Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
