Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I will be naked everywhere
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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