Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
